How to Build Winning Habits in College
Key Note Speaker, Raphael Bostic (Left), Me (Middle), University President Cost (Right)
At no point in my college career did I write a goal to myself on the wall that said "I want to graduate with a 4.0 GPA". I was average in high school at best so my GPA was something that came through a series of good habits and decision-making processes that still helps me in life daily.
I recognize that some might feel like an academic achievement of this type is unattainable. I'm here to tell you that if *I* can do it, anyone can!
Here are 3 pieces of advice about building winning habits (that lead to achievements like 4.0 GPAs):
1. "It's not all about balance"
Balance pushes the narrative that one has to juggle all the things he or she aspires to do at 100% to make it work. The truth is, you can't do everything you want to do. I made decisions throughout college to drop people, extracurriculars or even jobs that no longer served me so that I could make time for my priorities that I wanted to do the "most".
During my college years, I learned the art of perception - understanding that every opportunity, relationship, or commitment may not align with my true passions or long-term vision. Letting go of certain obligations was not an easy process. However, it helped me focused on what I really wanted instead.
Recognizing that I couldn't do everything allowed me to channel my energy into what truly mattered to me. It was liberating to shift my perspective from fear of missing out to embracing the joy of give 100% to my choices. I learned to give myself grace. It is natural to sometimes feel overwhelmed or uncertain about the choices we make. But understanding that we are all human and bound to make mistakes, or change our minds, can alleviate the pressure of needing to have everything figured out.
Embracing this fluidity is crucial in maintaining a healthy perspective on life and personal growth, especially in college. “Balance” should be about embracing the messy, dynamic nature of life and having the courage to make choices that align with our passions and values. Through mindful decisions and self-awareness, we can create a fulfilling life that may not be perfect so, let go of the notion that you must do everything at 100%.
2. "Never place your self worth on any one goal"
As a Division 1 athlete and campus leader, I went through a lot ups and downs athletically, academically and personally. However, a failure in any one of those areas was never enough to throw me off track from my goals because each one had its own unique place in my story and process. You can excel and fail at the same time in different parts of your life and that's okay.
The journey was never a smooth ride; it was a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that tested my resilience and determination. There were moments when I excelled both on the field and in the classroom, feeling on top of the world. But there were also times when I stumbled, faced setbacks, or even failed in maintaining friendship and relationships.
However, I came to realize that these failures didn't define me. Each stumble served as an opportunity for growth and learning. Embracing this perspective allowed me to approach failure with a sense of curiosity and a willingness to understand what went wrong and how I could improve.
Put simply, life is crazy and it is entirely normal to excel in some aspects while facing challenges in others. Recognizing this truth liberated me from the burden of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations. This mental liberation only allowed me to further succeed in the things I did choose to do.
3. "People pleasing is the enemy"
I never once made a decision for anyone else in my college career other than me. You can't base your decisions off of how it will affect other people in your life because if they are the right people, they will support and love you no matter what. Keep yourself in mind when you make decisions to do or to NOT do something. What you choose not to do is just as important as what you choose to do.
Trusting in the support and love of the right people is essential. True friends and loved ones will stand by you, encouraging you to follow your passions and dreams. They understand that your journey is unique and won't try to dictate your choices. Surround yourself with those who lift you up, inspire you, and celebrate your victories.
However, it's equally important to consider what NOT to do. Sometimes, saying "no" to certain opportunities or obligations is necessary to maintain focus and balance. This helped me conserve my energy and focus on what matterd to me.
Ultimately, college is a time for self-discovery, growth, and learning. Embrace the journey, make choices that resonate with your heart, and remember that the decisions you make today will shape the person you become tomorrow. Trust in yourself, find joy in the process, and chase your dreams fearlessly.
Most importantly, have fun, but not at the expense of your future dreams and goals.
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